Why Should We Pray? And Other Questions About Prayer

Prayer is a bewildering topic with an array of questions and opinions. Yet, one thing remains certain; we should pray because prayer elevates our mind beyond us to God so that we may unify ourselves with him, overcome our human weaknesses and gain salvation. However, there’s quite a bit more to be said about prayer.

We often see billboards or hear opinions about prayer like, “prayer changes things,” Or ” prayer heals people,” or even that “God hears your prayer.” These sayings can be words of hope or encouragement. Still, they don’t shed much light on more substantial questions like why we should pray, how we should pray, or even why it seems God doesn’t answer our prayers.

When I was young, prayer was not something I understood, and this lack of clarity shaped a poor opinion of prayer, resulting in rare experiences of organic prayer. Something that I greatly regret. Had I just understood why it felt like God never answered me or heard me, what the benefits of a prayer life were, or what the “best” ways to pray were, I would have such a better understanding of God and his love for me that I wouldn’t have gone through so much pain and confusion as a young kid trying to figure who God was.

What are the forms of prayer?

First, to give a foundation, the Church and her saints tell us that there are 3 types of prayer. It’s important to note that while there are primary forms of prayer, these forms are prayed in myriad ways, and there isn’t just one way of going about each one. Prayer is very subjective and relational, so it’s essential not to attempt to fit it into one box or another. Still, these foundations help discern the nature and progression of prayer.

1. What is Vocal prayer? Vocal prayer is the type of prayer in which we recite specific prayers without the participation of the imagination. It is often structured and can include prayers such as the Our Father or Hail Mary. Vocal prayer is a good starting point for those new to prayer, as it helps to focus the mind and express our thoughts and desires to God. It is perfect for when we are not sure how to pray in a meditative way or contemplative way but still want to show our affection to God. God cherishes our desire for Him and blesses our prayer time, regardless of form or mode.“Vocal prayer is an essential element of the Christian life. To His disciples, drawn by their Master’s silent prayer, Jesus teaches a vocal prayer, the Our Father” – Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2767

• What is meditative prayer? Meditative prayer is achieved through thinking about certain religious scenes or scriptures and trying to hear the Lord’s message. There are two types which are Lectio Divina and Ignatian meditation. Both are highly beneficial and are best suited according to the temperament of the person praying.“Meditation is (when) The mind seeks to understand the why and how of the Christian life, in order to adhere and respond to what the Lord is asking….We are usually helped by books, …. the Sacred Scriptures, particularly the Gospels,…writings of the spiritual fathers, works of spirituality, the great book of creation, and that of history the page on which the “today” of God is written.” – Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2705
• What is contemplative prayer? Contemplative prayer is difficult to define as there are many definitions throughout the Church. However, contemplative prayer is most commonly described as purely being in the Presence of God, as two lovers would share no words but rather solely the other’s presence. Imagine when we are taking in a beautiful landscape. We look and absorb the beauty without internal dialogue, only having the feeling of, “wow!.” This is contemplative prayer, only that feeling of “wow!” is directed at God. St. Teresa of Avila also wrote about contemplative prayer, saying, “Contemplative prayer… is nothing more than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us.” More on contemplative prayer is found in the article regarding the practice of the Presence of God.

The three types of prayer recognized by the Catholic Church – vocal, meditative, and contemplative – offer different ways of deepening our relationship with God. Vocal prayer allows us to express our desires to God. Through reflection and contemplation, meditative prayer helps us understand God’s Will for our lives. Through stillness and silence, contemplative prayer enables us to be present to God and fully experience His presence. By incorporating these different types of prayer into our spiritual lives, we can grow in faith and holiness and draw closer to God. While all prayer is beneficial, it is essential to remark that prayer should grow organically. While understanding the types and stages of prayer can be helpful, these definitions should not cause one to try and jump to a different level of prayer than what is beneficial for their current state.

Does prayer work, and if so, how does it work?

Prayer works, but not necessarily in the way we may expect or want. Prayer is not a magic formula for getting what we want but rather a means of deepening our relationship with God and aligning our Will with His. Ironically, once we align our Will to His, we more often than not find that what He Wills for us is what we wanted all along. This is the primary goal of prayer.

In scripture, we are urged to pray and be assured of God’s faithfulness in hearing our prayers. As Jesus himself said, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7). The Apostle Paul likewise urges us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and assures us that “the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Romans 8:26).

Prayer works in several ways. It allows us to deepen our relationship with God and align our Will with His. Through prayer, we acknowledge our dependence on God and express our desires to Him; through this, we grow in love, faith, and trust in God. While we cannot manipulate God or force Him to do our bidding, we can trust in His faithfulness and love for us, as expressed in scripture and the teachings of the Church. As we advance in prayer, we become more docile to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. As we’ve learned that we can trust in him to provide what is truly best for us, we can move toward the complete fulfillment of a loving relationship with God.

Does prayer change God’s Mind?

 More immature prayer can sometimes feel like we are trying to change God’s mind and have Him see things our way, but our prayers cannot change God’s mind, as he is unchangeable. If our prayers could change God’s mind, we wouldn’t be able to call Him God because that would mean we could change His Will to conform to ours.

However, this raises some questions because it certainly feels like when we pray, we are trying to get God to see things from our perspective, bargain for what we want, or trying to get him to feel sorry for us and let us have it our way. It may even feel like our prayer did change God’s mind at times. We can all recall when we prayed and prayed for something, and God eventually granted our request.

However, if we examine our relationship with God and His plan for us, we can gain some clarity on the topic.

God’s ultimate Will is for us to conform to His image (with His help, of course). Along with this desire is God’s perfect and infinite knowledge of how to achieve this. He knows how everything that may happen or that we may want to happen will affect our transformation into a more perfect image of Himself.

He knows how it would affect our holiness if we were to get that job we continuously pray for. He knows why He’s allowed our life to get stressful. So, when we ask for something, He already knows if its something that’s going

to be beneficial for us or not, He would never allow us to have something that would harm us.

That being said, the question, ” well, if God already has His plan set out for us, why pray at all?” is fair. The answer, again, is found in the fact that God’s ultimate goal for us is to be as like Him as possible. He wants us to participate in His plan, and he wants us to desire it for ourselves. He wants us to ask Him to allow us to understand His plan or to request not for what we want but for what’s best for us. 

A few examples of God threatening to punish different cities in the Bible come to mind. These stories are not unfamiliar. A particular group of people would start to act up, God would send His prophet to tell them that God was going to destroy them, and depending on whether they did or didn’t, He would chastise or spare them.

The point being that God never wanted to chastise His people. He wanted them to repent and act accordingly to His Will. So when they repent, and God spares them, they act per God’s original plan of acting as they should, resulting in no need to be punished. Similar to when a parent tells their children that if they don’t start acting correctly, they will suffer the consequences. The parent never wants to punish; they want their children to behave.

So, when we pray for things and receive them, it’s not because God changed His Mind, and after a long grueling debate, we finally convinced him to see it our way. Instead, God always wanted us to have it but was waiting for us to want it for ourselves so that our will would conform to His perfect Plan more.

Now, if we continuously pray for something and don’t receive it, it could mean a couple of things. It could mean God doesn’t want it for us or doesn’t want it for us yet. In either case, we should trust in the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to determine whether we should continue to pray for it. Still, by conversing with God in humility and with the resolution, “if God wants it, I want it,” we can never go wrong because we show Him that we trust He knows what is best for us and most of all, we want our will to be aligned with His. The prayer that God’s Will be done NEVER goes unanswered.

Does prayer bring you peace? How so?

One thing, among many that our modern society is lacking is peace. Nowadays, almost every other person has some anxiety disorder, whether they know it or not. This is no shock as we are no longer promised a simple life as we were hundreds of years ago when most people were only concerned with providing for their family and making time to do something they enjoyed. Life now is much more complicated.

We are concerned with how we will build our careers, how we will afford our bills that always seem to get higher and higher, how society seems to get more vitriolic, and so on. The world does not offer us peace; this is nothing new. The more we focus on the world, the more we become ensnared by its troubles. But God provides us with an antidote for the contagious problems we see around us, Himself.

As we form a relationship with God through dedicating daily prayer time, we begin to know and understand him more profoundly. Just as two people would become more familiar the more they spent time together. 

As we get to know him better, we begin to understand His care and concern for us. We start to understand why or why not he allows certain things to happen in our lives, and the result is our trust that He has our best interest in mind.

How many times have we prayed for something and never received it, only to find out that sometime later, if we had gotten what we wanted, that thing would have been terrible for us? These realizations show us that God isn’t some negligent father; who gives us a yes or no answer just to shut us up, and he truly desires what’s best for us.

This newfound faith and trust in the Lord starts to melt all those worries because we know that God wouldn’t allow something to happen to us that would be too much for us to handle. Rather, each thing that comes into our lives, blessing or trial, is meant to purify and perfect us into the version of ourselves that God has planned for us since all eternity. If we knew this, what could we possibly be anxious about?

The result of prayer is peace, which stems from love and trust in God. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you,” Isaiah 26:3.

Some tips on prayer.

If, after reading this, you think that prayer is something you’d like to do more of, then here are some things to consider:

1. Don’t try and white-knuckle prayer: Many people who decide they want to have a better relationship with God through prayer begin with tons of zeal! This is good; however, passion can sometimes blind us to reality. It’s important to realize that we all are weak, and it’s not prudent to go from virtually no prayer to committing to 3 rosaries a day, the liturgy of the hours, and 1 hour of contemplation. Pray motivated by a legitimate desire for God grows organically. Decide how you will begin your new practice by asking God how He thinks you should best begin and start to experiment. 
2. Be consistent: Prayer is not a one-time transaction where we put our spiritual dollar in the machine, and out comes holiness. Realize that there will be days when prayer seems to be the last thing you want to do. During times like these, we must do all we can to give at least some time to God, and it’s helpful to remember that this is when our prayers are the most efficacious. This practice intensely purifies our love. It’s easy to do something when we get some benefit, but it shows our love when we do something out of sheer love and for no recompense.
3. Use spiritual reading for motivation. It can be intimidating to commit to sitting down and just praying. This would be like telling someone with no experience with fitness to go to the gym and just work out. So it’s best to have some spiritual reading as a guide. Obviously, scripture would be a fantastic option, but there are also a wealth of saints who came before us that have all started at the beginning of the spiritual life, and most of them have written about it. Pick a couple of books and begin to see which saints speak to your heart about God’s love. A few of my favorites are St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, and St. Bonaventure.

Above all, prayer is very subjective, as it is, at its core, engaging in a relationship with God. So, experiment and see what practices the Lord is calling you to.

Going fourth in prayerful love of God.

Prayer is an essential aspect of our relationship with God. It offers numerous benefits, including deepening our relationship with Him, aligning our will with His, and bringing us peace. While there are different forms of prayer recognized by the Catholic Church, including vocal, meditative, and contemplative prayer, it’s crucial to remember that prayer should grow organically, and we shouldn’t try to force ourselves into a specific mode of prayer that may not be suitable for our current state. As we pray, we should trust in God’s faithfulness and love for us, recognizing that prayer is not a magic formula for getting what we want but a means of deepening our relationship with Him. Finally, prayer should not be approached as a one-time transaction but as a consistent practice that we undertake out of our love and devotion for God.